After weeks of writing about the deep contrasts between Bhutan and Dubai — mountains versus skyscrapers, meditation versus ambition — I thought I’d finally turn to something of true global importance: the largest beach towel in the world.

Yes, the towel.

Because after all that philosophy about happiness and success, I found myself lying on a Dubai beach, face down on what must surely have been the largest towel ever woven by human hands. It stretched beyond my head and feet by what felt like yards. I have photographic proof — me, spread out like a lizard, and still the towel extended into the horizon.

THE GREAT TOWEL MYSTERY

It got me wondering: could this be the largest beach towel in the world?

A quick search later, I learned that there actually is such a thing — officially certified by Guinness World Records. In 2010, a Spanish company unfurled a green towel on the beaches of Gran Canaria measuring an astonishing 285 feet long and 83 feet wide — roughly the size of a football field.

Let that sink in. A towel that could host an entire beach volleyball tournament… and still have room for a few dozen sunbathers.

Apparently, it took a small army of people to roll it out, and I can only imagine the world’s largest laundry day that followed.

THE PHYSICS OF ABSURDITY

When you think about it, a towel that size raises some important questions:

• How do you fold it?
• What washing machine can handle it?
• And most importantly, how long would it take to dry — a week? a season?

I’m guessing Dubai might be one of the few places on earth where the sun is up to the task.

PERSPECTIVE, AND A BIT OF PLAY

In truth, my Dubai towel probably wasn’t a world record. But lying there — the Persian Gulf lapping at my toes, skyscrapers glittering behind me — it felt like a record. A symbol of Dubai’s whole personality: bigger, shinier, and determined to outdo everyone, even in the field of terrycloth.

And maybe that’s why the moment stuck with me. I had just come from Bhutan, where towels are smaller, simpler, and mostly used to dry off after a bath in a wooden tub heated by fire-warmed stones. And suddenly here I was, stretched out on an acre of cotton, on a man-made beach, under a man-made sky of air-conditioned towers.

Somehow, it was the perfect transition — from the spiritual to the spectacular, from Gross National Happiness to Gross National Towel.

A FINAL THOUGHT

So, no profound lessons here — unless you count the realization that joy sometimes hides in the ridiculous. That sometimes the best way to reset after deep reflection is to laugh at something wonderfully unimportant.

Next time I travel, I may leave the search for enlightenment behind — and instead look for the world’s largest beach umbrella. Or perhaps the world’s longest flip-flop.

One thing is for certain.  While I was focused on the size of my beach towel, my daughter Kelsey was enjoying herself!