I, for one, am very aware of the hesitancy and sometimes tension that exists in the relationship between some Americans and some of the French people.

From the American perspective, we are not quite sure whether Parisians and others throughout France really like Americans.  Americans at times will interpret coldness, rudeness and stand offishness by the French as dislike.

The French have been known to make fun of and be derisive of:

• a perceived lack of effort by Americans to learn any of the French language of which the French are very proud,
• the American tendency to blunder into conversations without beginning with at least a bon jour,
• the constant smiling and enthusiasm by Americans over seemingly everything, and Americans are loud,
• the often perceived rudeness by Americans in asking for names and work history without having developed a relationship first,
• and in some cases a feeling that the Americans think they are “better” than everyone else.

To the extent that the items listed above are in fact real, one can understand why some of the French people may be hesitant to welcome Americans with open arms.

The good news is that these items are all fixable.  Americans can put some effort into learning a few French phrases before we travel to France.  We can start EVERY conversation and interaction with a French person with a bon jour, madame or monsieur.  We can be more patient in developing a relationship with a French individual before we start drilling down on the details of their lives.  We don’t have to exude positivity all the time on everything no matter how important or non important it might be.  We don’t have to speak so loudly in crowded restaurants.  And finally, we can be more humble in acknowledging that we are all part of this planet.  No one country is “better” than another.  We all have our ups and downs.

In addition it is really important to remember the history between our two countries, because it is unique and something special.

It is not an exaggeration to say that the United States of America would not exist if it had not been for the unbelievable and timely support from the French during our Revolutionary War.  France was the first ally of the new United States of America in 1778.  Not only did France supply financial aid and war materials but they also supplied personnel, the most famous and revered being Marquis de Lafayette.

In 1803 the sale by the French to the US of the Louisiana Purchase instantly doubled the size of the United States at the time (828,000 square miles for $15 million or $18/sq. mile).

In 1884 the phenomenal gift of the Statue of Liberty, from the French people to the American people, in memory of the US Declaration of Independence still stands as the iconic welcome to America, the land of liberty, in New York harbor.

Also, it is not an exaggeration to say that the French would not be where they are today without the US’ crucial, albeit belated, help in WWI and WWII.  De Gaulle may have said that it was the French Army that freed Paris from the Nazis but the reality is that the Americans saved the day, without question.  In addition, the $4.9 billion granted, not loaned, to the French under the Marshall Plan was important in helping to get the country back on its feet economically after the war.

Yesterday I took a guided walking tour focused on World War II in Paris.  I saw which buildings housed the German military command and which ones were occupied by the SS.  I received a refresher history lesson on why Paris was not leveled in the war, but mostly survived with its historic buildings in tact.  I recently finished reading the powerful book A Woman of Importance which details the crucial role that at least one amazing one legged American woman played in the developing and assisting the French resistance during WWII.

Yes, there have been ups and downs in the relationship between the two nations over time.  Times when the two nations and their leadership have disagreed and been at odds.  And times when the people in each country have had a more favorable attitude toward the other’s culture, and times when the opposite was true.

The list includes the Quasi War (1798-1799), the American Civil War and the French role in Mexico, post WWI issues, NATO and de Gaulle, Vichy France (1942-1944), the Iraq War (2003), trade wars at various times, the Australian submarine contract in 2021, to name a few.

In addition, the cross cultural influences have been something to behold.  Whether it be music with the introduction of jazz, and especially lead by African Americans, into Parisian nightlife.  Or whether it be the influence of French artists on their American counterparts.  Or whether it be in the literary arena with the likes of Hemingway, Fitzgerald, or Faulkner.  Or whether it be in the film industry with Hollywood and with the likes of Simone Signoret and Bridgett Bardot.

I am currently reading David McCullough’s book The Greater Journey: Americans in Paris which outlines the artistic and intellectual education that Paris had on American visitors in the mid-19^th century. He speaks to what he calls the transformative, transfiguring power of Paris.

And who has not read in school Democracy in America – probably the best detached description of America’s democracy and social contract – written by the Frenchman Alexis de Tocqueville in 1835.

The list goes on.  You get the point.  There is something special about the relationship between our two peoples.