massage chair

I had an experience the other night that I have never had before.  While joining my good friends, Bruce and Tammy Barlow, for dinner and talk on their outdoor patio, they asked me if I wanted to sit in one of their chairs that I had not seen before.

It was black in color, made of leather, and it had a San Francisco 49ers logo on the side of it.  It looked like one of the chairs you see in airports where you can sit in them and get a massage of some sort.

What do you know, that is exactly what it was.  A chair that gives you a massage.

I hesitated.  I have never been in a chair like this.  Bruce and Tammy encouraged me to try it.  So I did.

First of all, the chair is very comfortable. You sort of sink into it, or at least I did.

You fit your legs into slots that are specially made to enclose the back and sides of your legs. And then there are places for me to put my feet.  Once I do that I am told by Bruce that I need to put my hands in slots on the chair’s arms that are specially made for my hands.

Bruce then takes a remote control device and pushes a red button on it.  Next thing I know is that I have what feels like little one or two inch balls rolling up and down my back.  One right after the other.  They start in my lower back and roll up my back on one side, all the way up almost to my shoulder.  Then they roll back down the same side of my back.  Next thing I know the same thing happens on the other side of my back.  These rolling balls penetrate a little bit, somewhat like having a deep tissue massage.  They get your attention. There is a little bit of pain.  Having said that, they also relax you.

At the same time that this is happening similar smaller balls begin rolling up and down my arms. Then I feel what seems like balls rolling up and down my legs, on the calves and along the thighs.

My hands which I had put in a special section begin to get massaged.  And it feels pretty good.  It feels almost like someone is actually massaging my hands, but of course it is the chair that is doing it.  But it begins to feel real good.

I hope you are beginning to get the picture.  I am sitting in a very comfortable leather chair, and my back, my arms, my hands, my calves and my thighs are getting consistently rolled by the chair.  And these aren’t soft rolling balls.  No, these balls are making an impression on me. There is some pain. Believe me.  This is real.

Hold it.  Hold on.  Wait a second.  Out of nowhere comes a real shocker.  All of a sudden I am feeling these balls working on my glute muscles – the muscles on my buttocks, the largest muscle on my body.  Once again, these balls are making an impression on me.  I am very aware that they are going up and down and around my buttocks.

Bruce sees my expression change.  My mouth is now wide open as I am mouthing “whoa”.  Bruce then says that the chair massages everywhere.  Little did I know what he was talking about.  In the next minute my eyes open really wide.  Why?  The little balls have now moved to my anus area.

(Editor note:  I researched the synonyms for “anus” trying to find one or two that would be less offensive.  It turns out that there are 1247 other synonyms or words related to anus but after reviewing them I decided that I better stick with anus.)

Bruce and Tammy get their camera and ask me to smile.  Let me just say that it was a forced smile.  This was indeed a deep tissue like massage.  Wow!!

Gee whiz.  I did not realize that there were chairs that did what this chair does.  Holy cow.  My oh my. Wow!  Egad!  Oh my goodness.  Whoa!

My eyes begin to close as I settle more and more into the chair.   Which is kind of ironical because this has been an eye opening experience.  On the one hand, the small balls within the chair have opened my eyes and made me very aware of many of the muscles that I have in my body.  On the other hand they have succeeded in relaxing me.  So much so that my eyes are beginning to close.

A big thank you to Bruce and Tammy for introducing me to an amazing experience.  One that I will not forget.

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